Are unclear boundaries in your business relationships leaving you feeling used or undervalued?
Let’s start by normalising using words like work colleague, former colleague, social acquaintance, new (or old) acquaintance, business partner, neighbour, old university friend, mentor, sponsor, coach, and client. Not everyone is your friend, nor should they be.
“Clear boundaries in business protect your integrity and foster genuine trust. Not everyone is your friend, and that’s perfectly okay.”
In business, not everyone is going to be your friend. We need to be clear about our relationships. When you enter a business relationship with leaky boundaries, it can leave people feeling used when it ends because one party thought the relationship was different from what it was due to a lack of clarity.
Here’s Why Clear Boundaries Are Crucial
Take the founders of Ten Cent (aka WeChat), for example. They were university “friends” who went on to build a business empire together. Yes, they were friends first and then transitioned into business partners. What I’ve seen, working with numerous families and business partnerships like theirs, is that clear boundaries are crucial.
I’ve worked with some of my clients for over a decade. Entire families where I am now positioned as a trusted family advisor. It didn’t start out that way, but it grew into that. I’ve gone to weddings, graduations, birthdays, and other significant events with them and am usually introduced as a trusted family advisor and friend, so people then know very clearly who I am, including where my loyalties lie.
I consider it a privilege to work with these few families in such close proximity and take that trust very seriously. Yes, I consider them part of my social circle, but my professional boundaries remain clear when I am wearing that hat. Contrary to those in my support network, I would not go to them with my own challenges—that’s why I have my own coach, therapist, and inner circle of friends.
Let me be CLEAR: if I weren’t clear on these boundaries, it could lead to distrust AND a shift in the relationship that would mean I could not do what they need me to do in a professional capacity. At the end of the day, that’s what they are paying me to do.
So, Why Do People Try to Be Friends with Everyone in Business?
- Fear of Rejection: Many feel that not being “friendly” might lead to rejection or missed opportunities. However, superficial VANILLA friendships can lead to greater disappointment.
- Desire for Approval: Seeking validation from everyone in your network can dilute your focus and authenticity.
- Misunderstanding Networking: There’s a misconception that good networking means turning every contact into a friend, when it’s really about building mutually beneficial professional relationships.
But Here’s the Hard Truth:
- Business isn’t personal. Mixing personal emotions with business decisions is a recipe for disaster. It’s crucial to keep those lines clear.
- Trust is fragile. As quickly as trust can be built in a business setting, it can also be lost. A business relationship doesn’t have the same depth as a true friendship. A friend has seen you through ups and downs and has your back regardless.
- Boundaries matter. Without clear boundaries, people feel used, and relationships become transactional. This isn’t good for business or personal well-being.
“In business, mixing personal emotions with professional decisions is a recipe for disaster. Keep your lines clear to maintain trust and focus.”
When Everyone is Labelled a “Friend,” You Risk:
- Burnout: Trying to maintain too many close relationships can drain your energy and focus.
- Blurred Lines: When professional and personal lines blur, conflicts of interest arise, making objective decision-making difficult.
- Erosion of Trust: When boundaries aren’t clear, expectations aren’t met, leading to feelings of betrayal and mistrust.
Remember, it’s about maintaining clarity. Protect your integrity and the integrity of your business relationships by setting and respecting boundaries.
