In the realm of human connection, ‘ghosting’ — the practice of ending a relationship by suddenly withdrawing communication without explanation — has emerged as a contemporary challenge, particularly poignant in our digital corridors. While it’s often seen as a silent exit strategy, recent findings suggest that the person who ghosts might just be haunting their own well-being.

A study exploring the emotional aftermath of ghosting uncovered that those who ghost are not spared the emotional toll; in fact, they may end up grappling with depressive symptoms. So, why does the ‘ghoster’ suffer when they were the one to sever ties?

The Ripple Effect of Severed Ties

Human beings are intricately wired for connection, with even the most fleeting of interactions bearing significance. Ghosting, therefore, isn’t just a void for the ‘ghostee’; it’s a self-inflicted wound for the ghoster, stripping away the very fabric of support and camaraderie we all unknowingly lean on. Guilt often plays the background score to this act, chipping away at one’s self-image and fostering a sense of isolation.

Interestingly, while romantic ghosting didn’t show a direct line to depression, it does speak volumes about the complexities of young adult relationships. It suggests a narrative where the fear of intimacy, the pressure of communication, and the overvaluation of self-reliance converge, often leading to the decision to ghost. Yet, this choice comes with a price — the loss of potential growth, the opportunity for meaningful dialogue, and the development of resilience through facing relational challenges.

The Why Behind the Goodbye

The reasons people choose to ghost are as layered as they are personal. Overwhelm from relentless digital chatter is one; a skewed sense of self-esteem is another. It seems that those with higher self-esteem might ghost with an air of impunity, mistakenly believing they’re above the relational fray. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. Each disconnection leaves a mark, a subtle scratch on the lens through which we view our social world.

There’s No Virtue in Vanishing

It’s critical to recognize that ghosting is not without its rare justification, particularly in contexts where safety is at stake. But as a norm, it’s an avoidance dance that benefits no one. The ghoster loses potential understanding and growth, while the ghostee is left in the lurch of uncertainty.

Here’s the take: If you’re feeling the pressure, communicate. A simple message can go a long way. It’s the courageous choice, the one that opens the door to genuine connection and, ultimately, to a better sense of self.  In the words of Brené Brown, “Clear is Kind.  Unclear is Unkind.”  And if you’re the one left reading silence, remember, the story is more complex than you being ignored. Sometimes, reaching out can turn the page.  After all, you don’t know until you know.

Lean Into the Discomfort

The true path to building real relationships lies in embracing the discomfort of hard conversations. It’s about leaning into vulnerability and authenticity, not stepping away from it. If our aim is to forge a world where women empower women and communities heal, we must advocate for the courage to face the discomfort head-on.

Let’s not ghost on our potential for growth. Let’s engage, explain, and empathise — even when it’s easier not to. For in every difficult conversation we dare to have, we’re not just preserving relationships — we’re nurturing our collective well-being, one honest word at a time.

Love & Light,

Justine