Remember that moment in the final season of Sex and the City where Samantha was diagnosed with breast cancer but she doesn’t want to spoil Miranda’s big day with the sombre news? Samantha told her to go back to “her people” and Miranda summed up the whole premise of the show by saying “you’re my people”.
I thought about it the other day when a friend and I had a misunderstanding on the phone. I love my girlfriends and the relationships we share. Some go back decades. One started on a plane. Some are newer and still being roadtested. All of them teach and give me something different.
I think it’s why SATC used to mean so much to me back in the day. It wasn’t the clothes, the New York backdrops, the then-groundbreaking frank sex talks. It was always the relationships between Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha
SATC showed what it takes for strong friendships to #flourish… Similar to a garden that needs regular maintenance to continue to grow, so do relationships. Putting effort into them is a sign of how much you value it and a sign of a healthy, functioning one. Remember the regular lunches the girls had on SATC? Maintenance.
As much as the movies might romanticise relationships, we all know that relationships have their ups and downs. The girls navigated many a road bump and yet their friendship remained intact because of their communication, boundaries, honesty and genuine commitment to it. Until SATC 2: The Movie. What happened to Samantha?
But is all the effort worth it? Here are seven benefits:
- Emotional Support: Female friends can provide comfort, encouragement, and understanding during times of stress and emotional challenges.
- Improved Communication: Friendships with women can help improve communication skills, especially in understanding and relating to the perspectives and emotions of others.
- Personal Growth: Female friends can offer new perspectives, challenge you to grow, and inspire you to become a better version of yourself.
- Fun and Laughter: Friendships with women can be a source of fun, laughter, and light-heartedness, providing a much-needed break from the stress of daily life.
- Building a Strong Support Network: Having female friends can help build a supportive network of individuals who can provide help, advice, and resources during times of need.
- Diverse Views: Female friends can bring diverse backgrounds, perspectives, and experiences to the table, providing a wealth of knowledge and new ideas.
- Improved Self-Esteem: Surrounding oneself with positive, supportive women can help boost self-esteem and confidence.
🌟 Think about each of these benefits and how they showed up in SATC. Then relate them to your own female friendships and how they show up there (or not).
You are not alone if you struggle with female friendships. There are many potential reasons why some women may struggle with forming and maintaining female friendships including:
- Socialization: Women are often socialized to compete with each other for attention, resources, and romantic partners. This can create a sense of mistrust and insecurity in relationships with other women, making it difficult to form close friendships.
- Trust issues: Some women may struggle to trust other women due to past experiences of betrayal or rejection. This can make it challenging to form close friendships and open up to others.
- Comparison and envy: Women may feel pressure to measure up to certain social and cultural expectations around beauty, career success, and relationships. This can lead to feelings of envy and competition, which can damage friendships.
- Life transitions: Life transitions such as moving to a new city, getting married, or starting a family can disrupt existing friendships and make it challenging to form new ones.
- Personal issues: Women may also struggle with forming close friendships due to personal issues such as anxiety, depression, or a history of trauma. These challenges can make it difficult to connect with others and form meaningful relationships.
It’s important to remember that every person and every situation is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all explanation for why some women struggle with female friendships. However, by acknowledging these potential factors and working to address them, women can take steps to build meaningful and supportive relationships with other women.
If you would like to explore more about your relationship with yourself and how this may be impacting how you are showing up in the world, please follow me on Instagram or LinkedIn for tips to strengthen this. Because you are worth it!
Justine Campbell is a Psychological Coach who applies a bespoke approach to support. Her mission is to get people back to their core so that they can live their best lives wholeheartedly and with purpose. She does this with clarity, compassion and accountability. Her clients range from global impact leaders to entrepreneurs to determined individuals. What they have in common is that they are not prepared to accept the status quo and want everything & more out of life. Learn more about Justine here.
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